Warmth
by thatfringetho
Summary: At the conclusion of the Reaper War, a turian and a human have crashed onto Noveria. Cold and trapped on a desolate planet, and faced with the possibility of being the only two survivors of the war, Kassius and Catherine fight their inner demons and guilt as they try to find a way out of their solitude. Turian/Human romance. M for language, sexual themes, dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**1.**

Kassius felt familiarly numb as he looked out into the infinite white death of Noveria from the relative comfort of his home. He held a tablet in his hand, though in his state of boredom, he struggled to retain even a single line of writing. His brother had a peculiar taste in stories that Kassius did not share, but out here he had little to do and even less to read, so he found himself sifting through his collection piece by piece.

He had only been on the planet for around a month, but it was a solitary confinement in this shelter. His shuttle had crashed into the mountain just behind him, killing nearly everyone on board. Few crawled out, but with damages to their suits, the temperatures set in; fifteen men, including his only surviving family, were lost to the storms. He was the only one left. For all he knew, no one was ever coming.

They'd made a random jump. It was all they could do to escape the reaper that rapidly closed in on them. They were nowhere near a relay; they were quite deep in the middle of nowhere, in fact, as they sought the remains of an Asari warship that might help turn the tides of the war. Things were fairly close to an end then. He wasn't sure if he'd ever know the conclusion.

Food, water, shelter, and air. He was alive, thanks to whatever luck carried him to this abandoned research bunker, but he was sure that another month of this and he might start to imagine companions. Maybe he might see his brother again after all. Maybe he'd get to tell him how terrible his taste in literature was.

His silver eyes heavily lifted, glaring at the world he'd come to hate. White, white, white, white, white, white, grey, white.

Grey?

He stood up, shaking his head. It had to be a rock peaking out among the ice. The mind had a way of teasing him – sometimes he'd see shadows in the room with him, or hear someone saying his name. He closed his eyes, inhaling slowly and remembering to count to ten before he opened them.

 _Your name is Kassius. You are alone. There is no one out there._

He slowly looked once more. Clear as day, there was smoke rising from the valley, and lots of it. He stood quickly enough to knock over his chair, dropping the tablet.

 _There's no one out there,_ he told himself. _There's no one out there. No one out there. You're alone, Kass. Don't do this to yourself._

 _Shut up,_ he replied. _Shut your damned mouth._

He tripped over the chair as he rushed over to the closet, but he was quick to be back on his feet. He quickly removed one of the station's exosuits and shimmied out of his own clothing. The sensation of the armor was odd, since the only clothing he had sported in a month was a soft, warm material.

 _What if it's the Geth? Spirits, what if it's more of those abominations?_

Fighting himself, he donned a helmet, heading for the door. He had no weapons on him, but at this rate, if something was out there and ready to kill him, at least it would spare him any more time in this purgatory.

Kassius opened the door, feeling a blast of cold air that seemed to penetrate his suit, though he knew he was safe. It was far colder out there than what he was feeling. That wasn't a campfire, it was too big – someone else had crashed down here, and the second they moved away from that fire, they would have only minutes.

His feet sank into the snow, making running a difficult task. They weren't far, maybe less than a kilometer, but he had to maneuver his way down to the valley, which added several minutes onto his journey. The air, conditioned as it was, bit at his lungs with each inhale. As he made his way to the scene, he analyzed more of the crash.

It was a human ship, that was certain. It seemed to be an older make of an Alliance ship, but from here he could tell that much of the crew was dead. Their bodies were black as pitch, scattered along the ground in various macabre positions.

 _Might as well turn back. You shouldn't have gotten your hopes up._

He hesitated, but continued forward.

 _Someone must be alive. I lived, didn't I? I have to know. I have to see._

The Turian trudged against the thick layer of ice that must have once been a river, long before anyone could have written of it. The front of the ship had pierced it, leaving cracks around its point of entry. Kassius carefully walked around it, analyzing the bodies for signs of life.

"H…"

His voice was weak from retirement. He cleared his throat.

"Hello? Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me?"

He waited.

 _There's no one. Go home, kid. Get back to your book and try to actually read it this time. Krogan mythology can't be that bad._

"Please, if you can hear me, I'm not here to hurt you! I can take you somewhere safe."

 _I don't want to be alone._

He shivered as the minutes passed, hopes decreasing along with his body heat. He lowered his head, mourning the people he didn't know. If everyone had lived, of course, he couldn't have done much – there wasn't much space in his bunker, let alone food. He'd already done the math, and with the levo-synthesizer, he had around one year of supplies from when he started.

He emitted a low whine, one of many various subharmonics the Turians were capable of, and one that wasn't often heard. Adults had too much shame to whimper in such a way, but he was barely an adult and full of woe. Now was the time to be childish and cry.

Turning his back, Kassius decided he had wasted enough time. He shook his head, throat flanging pitifully and echoing through his helmet. He trudged forward, eyes on the ground as his mind humiliated him for bearing any semblance of hope.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement from one of the bodies. It was subtle, but stopped him in his tracks.

 _It's in your head. Keep moving._

He crept towards the body, studying it for any signs of movement. It had to be a female, judging by the shape of her form; he at least knew that of the humans. He wasn't sure through the armor, but she appeared to be slowly breathing.

"Spirits," he whispered, bending down and giving her a light shake on the shoulder. With no response, he deemed her unconscious and reached for the dogtags that hung from her neck. "C-… Catherine Walters, hm?"

The name rolled off of his tongue with a hard pronunciation of each syllable. Human names were far more varied than most other races', but they were new to galactic civilization and had only unified as a species in the last two centuries. They still knew their cultures and dialects, but they knew that both would succumb to the will of the galactic community.

He lifted her up.

"Okay, Catherine. I've got you. Stay with me."


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

Pacing was a habit that most Turians despised, but there weren't a lot of them around to chastise Kassius. He walked back and forth beside his bed, which he had given freely to the human girl. He wasn't sure about her armor or how to remove it, so she lay fully armored on the sheets, soot staining the white linen. The bed wasn't particularly soft, but at least she'd be warm here.

He had already changed back into his sweats, tired of the remaining chills that lingered in the exosuit. It hung to dry just outside of the closet; while the bunker wasn't _that_ small, Kassius was very conscious of how he utilized the space he had. There were utility rooms for laundry and cleaning, restrooms with sanitization showers, a kitchen, a bedroom with a study, and a lab. Each room was efficient, leaving Kassius to believe that this bunker had always been manned by one person, or perhaps two if they slept on separate schedules.

 _Hi, my name is Kassius. I crashed here thirty-one days ago, which I've had to keep track of with my OMNI-tool because the nights here seem to drag on forever, but don't worry, that makes sleeping easier._

Kassius shook his head.

 _No, no, don't be so frantic with her. You'll freak her out. She's been through enough without having to worry about being shacked up with some obnoxious kid._

He walked towards the chair and sat down, looking out the window as the sun began to set. It wouldn't rise again for another thirty-four hours, and then they'd have nearly eighteen hours of daylight. With the push of a button that resided on the desk nearby, the windows were closed off with a thin sheet of steel.

The noise roused the human, who twitched back into existence. Her breathing became increasingly erratic until it evolved into a frantic yell. She sat up just as soon as it did, struggling to remove her helmet. Kassius leapt to his feet to help, but found himself worthless in her plight.

She all but threw the helmet across the room, gasping for air as she did. Her eyes failed to register the situation as panic encompassed them; her pupils were small when she looked upon the Turian. While her yelling stopped, she continued to gasp for air as if she had been drowning.

Kassius looked upon her, taking in the features of the first living being he had seen in months. Humans came in many shapes and sizes, but this one was a particularly odd shade of pink, with her nose appearing more red and small brown dots decorating her round face. Her short, thick hair was curly and light brown, and she seemed young, though his ignorance of her race deemed him unable to guess her age.

"Did we win?" she asked, her voice broken and scared.

He tilted his head. Of all things, he hadn't expected those to be her first words. So far, he was failing to make introductions. This conversation would be on her grounds. "What?"

"The reapers… did we beat them?"

Kassius' mandibles twitched as he opened his mouth, once again unsure of what to say to her. His eyes were downcast, and she seemed to pick up on it. Her lips parted in a temporary silence.

She shivered quite suddenly, as if she just realized the temperatures she had been put through. She seemed to dismiss her first question entirely.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Your ship crashed into a nearby valley. You're in a bunker in Noveria, and you're safe."

Her eyes, a mutt shade of gunmetal blue, seemed to scan his for more information. Then, she dropped her head, making inferences on invisible words.

"And the others are dead, aren't they?"

Kassius was surprised. She had either caught onto his tone or seen the pity in his eyes. He didn't have to answer her; she gave him a knowing look, some of her facial muscles twitching in a pattern he didn't recognize.

When she spoke again, her voice was softer, but somehow more broken.

"Who are you?"

Her question resonated in his mind. She wasn't asking his name. _Who you are doesn't matter. Why did you save me? Why am I alive?_

He knew the pain well, and through that, he maintained his bearing.

"My name is Kassius," he answered slowly. "Former soldier for the Hierarchy. I've been here for around a month, though time has been difficult to grasp. My ship was attacked by the reapers, and I…"

 _You didn't have faith in the pilot. Nobody did; he wasn't inexperienced, but against that Reaper, he was nothing. The jump was the only option._

 _Should have died with them._

"…I lost everything."

The human girl puffed out her cheeks in an odd display, breathing loudly through pursed lips. Kassius fought the voice, attempting to remain stoic around his new roommate, but sadness still managed to expertly lace his words.

"I haven't spoken with anyone since the crash. There's no net out here because of the storms… I thought I was waiting for death."

 _You didn't have the guts to end it, so you're waiting on fate to take care of you. You're already dead, and this is your purgatory._

The girl sighed. If he was willing to open up his home to her, and if he had indeed saved her life, she owed him something. "We were fighting to reclaim Earth, and an evacuation order was issued… Our VI shut down after some kind of spasm, and the relay systems seemed to be in the same process. The pilot took us through, hoping to send us to one of the colonial planets, but we wound up in the Horse Head Nebula, and after that, the relays wouldn't let us back through. We knew that Noveria was colonized, but we didn't know that our frigate had sustained damage. Didn't know until it was too late."

The way her words poured out was almost robotic, as if she were recanting a confession to a cop. Kassius listened intently.

"What's the point of saving the galaxy if everyone I know is dead?" She added after a moment's hesitation. "Worst case scenario, you and I are all that's left in the whole galaxy."

He mulled over her words, looking off to the side. He was grateful for any conversation, but he could have dark thoughts on his own time.

"Are you cold, Catherine?"

Catherine nodded, then seemed surprised. "…You know my name?"

The Turian made his way to the closet, searching for a pair of sweats that might fit a human body type. They were easier found than anything for him, though he didn't imagine many Turians would come to Noveria. "I checked your tags when I saw you breathing outside of your ship. I hope you don't mind."

He handed her the clothes. She removed her gloves, tracing her thin hands over it. He watched her hands move, realizing that while it had been a long enough time since he'd made conversation, physical contact was an entirely separate story. He had to have stared for a while, as she quite briskly looked up at him, interrupting his thoughts.

"They're soft."

 _Great, you\re freaking her out. Say something, idiot._

He nodded, mandibles tightening against his jawline. "I'll uh… I'll go make you some coffee."

He turned his back, heading for the kitchen. She seemed to undress quickly, based on the various clunks and clanks he heard behind him.

"Black," she requested, keeping her eyes on him like a hawk. She'd been to some shady places in the past and knew not to trust anyone when vulnerable, regardless of their species; the fact that he was alone for so long only made him more dangerous. She slid out of her undergarments, which seemed to be both sweaty from the fire and cold from the ice. It was highly uncomfortable, and surely unsanitary. "Is there anywhere I can sanitize my clothes?"

"There's a laundry room," he answered from the other room. "I'll give you the grand tour. Prepare to be disappointed."

"Hey, I'm alive," she replied, sliding into the sweats. "Whether or not that turns out to be a good thing is up for debate, but for now, we can pretend it is."

Kassius smiled, pouring the coffee. The human seemed to be conversational enough, particularly for someone who had been through such a recent trauma. He questioned her experience. "Have you been with the Alliance long?"

"Well, I'm an officer; I went to a military academy, and I just recently turned twenty-four. Imagine what a party that was – everyone knew the galaxy was ending, so we all got pretty drunk. Woke up in bed with a Quarian – a _Quarian!_ You know he was preparing for the end times if he was willing to compromise his immune system with some human girl."

His brows and fringe raised in surprise. To tell such a story seemed rather brazen; it was also strange that they happened to be around the same age. "May I turn around?"

"Yes, I'm finished," she answered, pleased with his manners. "You're quite pleasant."

He turned, carefully walking with the cup slightly too full in his hand. "Yes, well, I'm just glad to have someone to talk with that isn't in my head."

This made Catherine smile, though it didn't seem to have the level of understanding that she previously wore. In fact, the light in her eyes seemed to fade.

"At any rate, things seemed to go to shit right as I finished my training. Colonies vanishing, Geth attacks; I survived a Collector raid, myself. I'm not proud, since I just sort of hid, but everyone I knew didn't make it. I had been visiting my parents… I suppose you could say this is the second time tragedy has struck."

There was far more to her story, but she had returned to her robotic tone, stating facts like they were being read from a book.

"You seem very calm about it," Kassius noted.

"I wasn't," she admitted. "I'm not now. I guess being chatty is a coping mechanism, and I'll probably have a mental breakdown once I let it sink in."

Kassius straightened his posture. "I haven't had one in a while myself. Maybe we can break down together."

"It's a date," Catherine replied in a serious tone, gathering her clothes. "A grand tour, maybe a few glasses of wine if there's any, and then we can watch the sun set and panic together."

"I believe the scientists kept some reserved wines on-hand. I must have seen some in a fridge in the lab. Sun's already setting, I'm afraid," Kassius said.

"Oh, well then, we'll have to get a move on."

She hadn't been joking. Shortly after Kassius opened a bottle for her (and a levo one for himself), she erupted into sobs that he was absolutely unsure of how to handle. He set down the bottles and took to her side, cautiously placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, now," he whispered, though he had never before seen a human cry. It was a frightening sight, the way their faces wrinkled up and reddened and leaked water as if it were unnecessary. He couldn't think of anything to say. "Just, um… let it all out."

She moaned something at him through snot and tears, but her speech seemed worbled and strange. He moved away, opening the windows once more to expose them to what remained of the sunlight.

Despite everything, it was a beautiful sight. When Catherine would calm down, he'd have to break the news that they were trapped inside until daylight due to the weather conditions of the outside.

"Whenebyon eyes itjus mase evything…"

"Hang on, I think my translator malfunctioned," Kassius interrupted. He hoped not, though its lack of connection to the net meant that it was probably fine.

She sniffled loudly. "When everyone dies… it makes everything I do seem so meaningless. I was already… different… after I lost my parents… I've lost everything now. I don't know how to feel, Kassius. What's the point of all of this?"

Kassius froze, then sat beside her on the floor. He felt speechless, and his proximity to her caused Catherine to look as if she'd tasted something bitter. With a sigh, he extended his mandibles. It had been a long time since he'd had any sort of real conversation; even when he was around his friends, they rarely spoke of anything emotional. Everyone felt the same doomsday despair, and no one felt a need to reawaken the darkness.

 _Don't you dare show it,_ he thought to himself. _She doesn't need you to get emotional. Be strong, be still._

The sunset cast the room in a warm shade of orange, warming the silence.

Catherine wiped under her eyes, still shaking but growing much quieter. She seemed to bask in the light of the sun, resting her hand at her side. The Turian had a moment of weakness, reaching down.

 _I need to do this._

 _You're going to scare her._

 _I need to do this._

He placed his hand on top of hers, causing her to jump. He quickly disguised his desperation as an act of comfort, and for once, the human seemed to believe his act without questioning a deeper motive. She relaxed, closing her eyes.

The orange transitioned to red, and then slowly, the lights of the shelter outshone the light of the sun.

 _I'm happy you're here,_ he thought to her, wishing he could say it. This small act of affection melted him; he didn't love her, truly he didn't know her well enough to say he liked her, but the warm contact shattered the barrier he'd kept up since his first night alone.

"Fuck," was all he could muster before descending into a terrifying and uncomfortable dialogue with his thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

 _An uncomfortably bright light shined on her face from the camera drone, casting her in a light worse than the news had already casted her in. This was her first and only chance to defend herself. Ever since news of the collector attack began to spread, her story had been nothing but abridged, passed from mouth to mouth and bringing shame upon a girl for surviving._

 _She blinked her eyes a few times, attempting to adjust to what felt like direct exposure to the sun. In front of her, a plain and businesslike woman stood, looking her dead-on as though she were a game to be played._

" _This is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, here live with an exclusive interview with Catherine Walters, recently known as the woman that survived an invasion by what we have come to call, 'The Collectors'."_

 _Catherine pursed her lips, unsure if she ought to look at the interviewer or the camera. She had seen the vids, of course, of her interviews with the famous Commander Jane Shepard, and knew that the woman had a penchant for speaking the minds of the people, even if it meant provocative questions and answers. Still, the minds of the people on Earth were set on Catherine being punished for neglecting her duties as an officer, and this was the first person to offer a parley since the initial outbreak of the story, which had occurred months in the past._

 _The invasions had come to an end, thanks to Shepard and her crew, but the trials on Catherine's end never seemed to conclude. She hadn't been ready to speak on it then, but she thought she could now._

" _Rumor has it you're taking a short break on the Citadel," she began, already bringing up a rough subject. "Has the Alliance been re-considering your position among their ranks?"_

 _She knew that they weren't going to punish her on their terms. All she had done was survive an attack on a civilian colony, and according to the evidence, there was nothing she could have done otherwise. There had been little intel on the creatures at the time, and even as some began to surface, it was swept under the rug. Couldn't have the colonies in a panic._

 _No, it wasn't the military she had to fear, nor the government, but the citizens who wanted someone to take out their frustrations on. Catherine knew to speak with caution._

" _I am on the Citadel to receive psychological evaluation," she answered, pacing her words slowly. "I lost…"_

 _She started to think about the end of her statement, but shut off the line before it could burst._

"… _I lost good friends, and I lost my family. It has been difficult to process, but I should be combat-ready soon, and if there is a major threat to humanity or galactic civilization, I will fight on its behalf."_

 _Al-Jilani did not seem impressed. "Would you say that your neglect to fight in the past might influence you if, as you say, there were a major threat?"_

" _I could not fight, and I would have advised anyone in my position to have done the same. This was not an act of cowardice."_

 _The reporter smiled with a hidden malicious intent. "People have referred to your actions as an act of self-preservation that defied your duties as a soldier, your obligation to Earth and her colonies, and called to question your empathy for even those you hold closest."_

 _Catherine's lips parted. After all this time, there were no questions. Any pity she had received was laced with disgust, and attacks on her character seemed to leap at her from all sides. She swallowed the lump in her throat, shutting out the screams in her head._

" _I apologize, was there a question in there somewhere?" she asked. "If you're asking if I agree to those opinions, then I have to give you an answer, Khalisah: If I could go back and die with them, I would not. My survival helped the alliance gain additional intelligence on the attacks. If nobody had survived, then it could have taken even longer for the Alliance to investigate the abductions."_

 _Khalisah began to speak, but Catherine cut her off. She had a little ammunition of her own to fire._

" _Other people have survived these raids, and our survival ensured that people like you could go home today to see your husbands, wives, and maybe your pieces on the side; our trauma gave you the privilege to go home, snort red sand and drink until tomorrow. I'm sure each of us doesn't go a day without wishing it could have been someone else. I know I don't."_

* * *

Catherine groggily opened her eyes to find that she was shrouded by total darkness. The view outside had all-but disappeared, with only the peaks of the mountains illuminated by the moon. The lights inside of the shelter had turned off, but she had already been assured that they were motion-sensored. Because of this, she felt a great need to be still so as to not wake up the Turian who had taken her in and allowed her to sleep on his bed while he slept on a pile of blankets on the floor.

He seemed kind enough, though a bit repressed. She wasn't sure if he'd ever been around humans, or if his social awkwardness was from the solitude, but she was certain that he held back a great many urges for her sake – the way he had jumped when their hands connected ascertained this.

She had her fair share of contact over the previous weeks. Leading up to the reclamation of Earth, she spent any downtime she could in good company, and in the wake of the Reapers, everyone had forgotten her story, and everyone had forgiven her actions but herself. The Quarian she had met was a casual thing, but they spent several days together following her birthday; it might have felt like a true, Old Times romance if it hadn't all been out of desperation.

Shifting onto her side, she moved her arm to touch her lips, thinking about the way his had felt. They were much softer than any human lips, and the way his dark-and-bright eyes looked into hers was fascinatingly alluring. It wouldn't have happened if death wasn't certain; hell, he was probably dead now. Another ghost.

"You awake?"

Catherine's eyes widened, startled by the voice of her roommate. "How do you know?"

"I heard you moving. I've been up for a while, but I didn't want to disturb your sleep."

She sighed quietly, looking towards the hall. "If I get up, the lights won't immediately flash on, right?"

"Oh, no," Kassius replied. "They fade on. Saves energy."

With a nod, the girl sat up, stretching her arms. Kassius moved out of her way so that she could easily get out of bed, and she made her way to the restroom, feet tapping on the floor with a fleshy pitter-patter. In her absence, he quickly made the bed, pausing when he caught a waft of her scent on the pillow. It was faint, but clean; he'd heard talk about hair before, but never enough to imagine how it might smell.

 _Spirits, Kass, don't sit here and sniff the damned thing. If she comes out here and sees that, she's going to freak out. You might as well be isolated all over again._

He listened to the voice, backing away from the bed and stretching out his own limbs. The sound of running water brought him to attention, and as the door opened, Catherine approached him, looking up with strange crust in her eyes.

"So…" she started, running her fingers through her very messy mop of hair. "What are we supposed to do all day?"

"We can start with breakfast. If you'd like to take a shower, I'll have your meal ready in about ten minutes. It isn't anything gourmet, just a ration, but it will have to be heated up."

The thought of a shower depressed her as she took a seat in his chair, shaking her head. "What sort of ration?"

"Erm… I believe for you, there's something called an omelet."

He moved to the kitchen, but Catherine followed him in her chair. Evidently, she preferred his company to a shower, but he didn't mind.

"After breakfast?"

Kassius shrugged, removing the rations from the freezer. "I usually try to read or get some light exercise. Sometimes I write, but there's no purpose for it, so I've lost my inspiration over the last few days."

Her face was flat, and then she began to spin around in her seat. The act startled him; it was childish and out of place in this bleak atmosphere. "Maybe I could read your stuff. What do you write?"

"…Lots of stuff," he replied, though the true answer was more along the lines of epic tales of adventure and romance. He was quite good at writing, truth be told, but he was also humble, and his musings on love might be a little embarrassing to expose.

"While you write, I can draw, and we can review each other's content," she said, continuing to spin so that her voice went in-and-out. "We can turn this place into a regular coffee house."

"What?"

"You know, a coffee house. That thing hipsters go to so they can bask in mediocre art and passionless poetry."

Kassius furrowed his brow. "I don't understand what you're talking about."

Catherine stopped spinning.

"Well, you're about to."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hello, everyone! I'll write another chapter of this tomorrow, and then I'll be at the beach for a few days! I'm not taking a hiatus or anything, so don't worry!


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

" _Hey."_

 _Kassius moved his hands away from his face, looking up at his brother with a pinch of frustration. He didn't reply, as he didn't feel much like talking._

" _You've been quiet since this morning. Is something on your mind?"_

 _The older Turian, Saturus, moved to sit beside him with great concern in his eyes. He was wise, that was certain, and he was very attentive of his crewmen; to him, they were all brothers-in-arms. Kassius wasn't treated more or less special than the rest, but he still felt the warmth of their bond when they spoke._

" _As a matter of fact, you've been brooding for quite a while longer than that."_

 _Kassius sighed through his nose, grinding his mandibles against the sides of his face. "Why shouldn't I be? Palaven is lost, we haven't heard from Vymeria in weeks so we have no idea how she's doing, and I had to do some volunteer work for the Refugee Center on the Citadel. We're losing this war. Even if the Reapers didn't pursue us any further, we'd run out of supplies."_

" _Our sister is fine, she's just occupied," Saturus replied in his rich baritone. Women loved the sound of his voice. If he'd had any musical talent in him, he might have become a singer. It was a good thing he couldn't hold a rhythm. "And don't worry about the war. That's why we're out here – with the salvage we gain from this ship, we'll be returning lost research on the Crucible, and we'll probably make off with some weapons modifications. Every small action turns the tide of this war."_

 _The window beside him was long and thin, stretching all throughout the ship and exposing them to the mysterious yet bleak vastness of the galaxy. They were passing Fortuna now, as the salvage was located closest to its system, but not quite within its grasp. The ship was down to nearly 500 units of fuel, but that would be enough to get them to Pax and a Fuel Station without a code-red scenario. Times like these, if you were lost in space, rescue teams had other issues to keep them occupied._

" _I can't bear the thought of millions starving to death. One of the dockworkers there told me he had plans to adopt a young human girl if her parents didn't turn up. He had his doubts they ever would."_

" _You say that as if it is bad news," Saturus spoke, moving towards the window. "No, Brother, this conflict has destroyed lives, but it has also created bonds among the survivors. Can you imagine a Turian adopting a human fifty years ago? Often times, such events might cause people to become more divisive, but we've conquered our differences."_

" _Hell, I've heard Garrus Vakarian has a soft spot for the human Commander," Kassius chuckled, lightening up a little. "Maybe that kind of thing will be more commonplace."_

" _We used to hate them. It is good to see more love."_

 _The young Turian began to shake his leg, anxiety replacing the despair he had felt. Still, the conversation was keeping him out of his thoughts. "How is Karsi? You two spoke on the Citadel, didn't you?"_

 _Saturus laughed. "I was going to wait to say this, but… we're getting married as soon as it's over."_

" _She said yes?" Kassius asked, perking up. Karsi was a very kind Quarian, whose warm and bubbly presence could light up a room. She had been seeing his brother for a long time, though with both of them sharing a firm sense of duty, they'd never gotten around to breaking out the questions. He wasn't even sure if Saturus knew what she looked like under the helmet, or if he cared._

" _She said a great many things, 'yes' was only one of them."_

 _Kassius stood up to give Saturus a hug, but froze in his tracks, staring through his brother._

" _Hey," he whispered, stepping to the window. "Do you see that?"_

* * *

"Okay, I'm done!" Catherine cheered.

Kassius violently snapped out of his daydream. It was one he had many times, perhaps as punishment for surviving. He wondered where Karsi was, and if she was still waiting, or if she had given up hope. Word would never have gotten out about the fate of their ship; it would still be a mystery to her, a sunken feeling in her gut that she'd deny until she could no longer.

"Ah, right," he mumbled, straightening his posture. "Okay. We can trade tablets."

He held onto his for a moment, still uncertain as to whether or not he was okay with someone entering his mind as she would, but gave in to the pressure, passing reaching from his chair to pass her the writings.

"I'll take a minute to read this, so if you want, you can wait to look at my drawing, or you can look now."

"I'm quite curious, actually," he remarked, taking the tablet from her hands. "It will be like looking into your dreams."

"I wouldn't say it's that good."

He turned the pad around and his eyes widened. In front of him was an extremely crude depiction of what appeared to be half of a femur covered with squiggles.

"I… I'm not really sure what to make of this," he admitted. "Is this what you spent so much time working on?"

Catherine burst into laughter, grabbing onto her stomach as she gasped for breath. Kassius tilted his head at her, then looked once again at the tablet.

"Is this a bone, or…? I'm not quite sure…?"

The human's laughter slowly faded as she wiped her eyes; then, she saw his perplexed state. "Oh, you're serious?"

"I'm not trying to say it's bad, per se," Kassius quickly tried to recover. "I just, you know, not really sure what I'm looking at. Does it mean something?"

Her mouth hung open for several seconds, then she sighed. "It's uh… it's a joke. Swipe right."

Kassius did as he was commanded, tracing his finger from the right side of the screen to the left. Then, he was presented with her true ability. His eyes widened and his mouth parted as he soaked in the details of her masterpiece, scanning every inch of it.

Smiling, Catherine looked down at the words on the screen and began to read.

* * *

It was nearly time to rest again. Kassius had assured her that by the time they were awake, the sun would have risen. The day had passed slowly, but they found little activities here and there, making games with paper and swapping lighthearted stories with little meaning. She could only imagine what a month of this in solitude would do to a person.

"You can sleep in your bed tonight," Catherine offered. "I'll take the floor."

The Turian seemed surprised, but shook his head. "No, that's okay; the floor is honestly about as comfortable once I've made my little nest here."

"So, you're just gonna sleep on the floor every night until we die?"

"I'm happy just to have someone around," he stated flatly. "I want you to be as cozy as possible."

She sighed, tucking herself in. "It's weird."

"What is?"

"You're being nice to me without expecting anything in return. Would things have been the same if we'd met somewhere else?"

Kassius flickered his mandibles, perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've been treated like dirt a long, long time. Making friends has been difficult, and when someone does come along, they're in it for some other motive. You don't seem to want anything from me but my presence, unless you're just waiting for the right moment to ask me for sex-"

He choked on air, coughing for several seconds. "I—what?"

"Well," she grumbled, facing the wall. "It would make sense. You've been completely secluded for a month. That messes with people."

"Catherine, I assure you, there's nothing like that on my mind."

She sighed again, nestling her head in her pillow. She was quiet for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**5.**

 **Author's note: This chapter contains light smut after the second linebreak. If that isn't your thing, you can cut off at that linebreak and it won't affect much of the story. Cheers!**

* * *

"I don't want to stay here."

A week of drawing and storytelling had passed with no distractions. Despite their constant proximity to one another and the Turian's reassurance of the state of their friendship, Catherine felt as though she were still trapped with a hospitable stranger. His stories were fascinating, sure enough, but her eyes had begun to ache from the constant exposure to the screens.

Both of them were sprawled out on their respective beds, staring up at the ceiling despite it being the middle of the day. It was quiet, save for the sound of Kassius shifting to look up at his human roommate.

"What?"

"I don't want to stay here anymore," Catherine repeated. Her voice was fittingly cold for the hostile environment that surrounded them. "There must be others out there. Noveria has a population of around 400 thousand, and Port Hanshan was well-established. It must still be running."

"We don't exactly have a solid means of transportation," Kassius replied quickly. "Those suits only give us about half an hour of time out there in these conditions, maybe longer come summertime but only a little. The terrain is rugged and dangerous. We have no means of communicating with anyone while the net is down. You – no, _we_ can't go anywhere."

Catherine bit her lip. She felt like throwing a fit, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. She didn't particularly like the tone that the Turian had taken on, either.

"We have to try!" she exclaimed, sitting up. "We could map it out piece-by-piece, figure out our location. I trained in orienteering. We can figure out our location with a compass and a hand-drawn map."

Kassius gritted his teeth. "Every time you go out there, you're risking your life. I've tried, damn it."

" _Then try again_ ," Catherine growled. "Together we can watch each other's backs, keep each other safe. At the very least, maybe we can put up some kind of signal so that if they're ever exploring out here, they know our location."

"We don't have flares, and a fire won't last in these conditions."

"What about a radio signal? It's basic, but there are certainly towers out here. We could record a message and establish a connection to the relay. Someone _has_ to be out there."

Catherine got out of bed in a hurry, removing her clothes and donning the enviro-suit. She no longer cared for the concept of privacy, so long as he wasn't seeing her totally exposed. "There's still a ton of daylight. If we go now, we can get started with the mapping, searching for the towers, and tonight, we can record our message. Baby steps; the next day, we'll connect to the relays."

She turned her head, finding that the Turian was still lying in bed with a leering expression. She frowned, taking his side.

"Please, Kassius?" she asked. "If we work together, we can get out of here. We can find out what's going on in the rest of the galaxy, meet other survivors, and maybe there's a slim chance we could even get the hell off this planet. What do you say?"

His mandibles clamped against the sides of his face. She rested her hand on his shoulder, causing his eyes to snap up and meet hers.

"Please?"

She stared at him pleadingly for a long time. With a sigh, he released his tension.

"Okay, Catherine," he affirmed. "We'll go."

* * *

 _The club struggled to maintain its avant-garde atmosphere amongst the tensions that everyone weakly disguised under drunken foolery. Dim violet lights illuminated dancers of many races who took to both the floor and stage in a frenzy caused by the end-times, accompanied by unscrupulous figures, drugs, alcohol, and all the debauchery one could imagine. "Party like it's the end of the world" had shown its true meaning here, but it was her birthday, damn it, and she was going to celebrate one shot at a time._

 _With a motion of her hand, she signaled the Batarian server for another round of tequila, preferring the taste of home in these troubling times to any foreign brew. The bartender gave her a tilt of the head, a gesture symbolizing politeness, and pulled out the clear bottle, pouring her a shot and some to go._

" _Have a few on me, birthday girl," the server said. It was odd, hearing such kindness from a Batarian, but she took it in stride with a returned smile._

" _We MUST be in crazy times," Catherine replied. "A Batarian buying a human a drink?"_

" _Bah. Bygones be bygones. Won't matter soon anyways, regardless of the outcome."_

" _I'll drink to that."_

Hell, I'll drink to anything, _she thought, gulping down the poison despite the fiery burn it left in her throat. She'd already been somewhat inebriated, so she didn't notice when the seat next to her was filled._

" _Shot of tch'ora," requested her neighbor, his voice deep and flanging. She could tell he was Quarian without sparing him a glance, but his voice sounded fascinatingly attractive. With curiosity, she turned towards him. It wasn't often that she came across Quarians, much less a male, though that was more of a coincidence than any sort of reflection on their society._

 _His clothing was a brilliant woven pattern of black and gold, fitting against his form in a way that gave her some idea of what Quarians might look like underneath all that armor and fabric. She looked up to his helmet, unsure of what sorts of emotions he was feeling behind the mask._

 _He grabbed the shotglass with one hand just as the Batarian smiled and stuck a straw into it. From there, a small hole in the mouthpiece of his helmet opened, and in went the straw._

 _Catherine tilted her head, suppressing a chuckle. He seemed to take notice of her pursed lips and stopped, finishing the shot before setting it down and removing the straw. He didn't say anything to her, but for a while, they stared at one another in a strange and mystical silence._

" _I'm Catherine and it's my birthday," Catherine blurted out, immediately chastising herself for her drunkenness. "And I believe I just received my second present. I got to watch a Quarian drink."_

 _For a while, she thought her neighbor might not say anything. Then, his posture seemed to straighten, and he turned to face her entirely. "Well… happy birthday! Catherine, was it? My name's Faator'Zaera nar Xabra."_

 _Catherine stared at him, clearly not sober enough to comprehend the length of his name. "Faetor Sierra nar Sharra?"_

" _You can call me Faator."_

" _Fair enough. What brings you to Hell, Faator?"_

 _Catherine took her second shot, smiling at the bartender in thanks. Her face was hot and her heart was racing, and more than anything she'd ever wanted, she wanted to dance._

" _Figured I'd celebrate normality before I'm shipped off to battle… though I suppose normality is a relative term in this kind of place."_

" _It'll feel normal after some more booze," Catherine declared. "I am three shots in and this place seems like the happiest place in the galaxy."_

 _As she spoke, a Krogan guard all but threw a patron across the club. Faator swallowed a lump in his throat, then requested a few more shots for himself. Catherine watched him drink with endless fascination. It didn't seem to take him long to loosen up; it only made sense, as apparently, Quarians weren't very heavy drinkers._

" _Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?" Faator asked, rather loudly. "I understand humans celebrate their lives with some festivity, but I'm curious as to whether or not this is ideal."_

 _Catherine teetered around in her chair. "You know what I REALLY want for my birthday? I want to get out on that floor over there, dance around like an idiot, and then have a nice relaxing evening where I don't have to think about the possibility of being vaporized by giant metallic squid. That would be ideal."_

 _Faator tilted his head at her, then stood up, pushing his stool back in. "By all means, let's do it. Let's dance."_

" _I get to see a Quarian drink AND dance? This is the best day of my life."_

 _He chuckled, leading her out to the floor. The music was a little trashy for his taste, him being somewhat of a nostalgist, but the simple bass and rhythm had him moving around nonetheless, much to the enjoyment of his human acquaintance, who seemed to dance with great enthusiasm._

" _I've never danced before!" Catherine yelled to him, moving her waist around and copying the sways and bounces of the other attendees. "I've always wanted to, but there's never a good reason!"_

 _Faator stepped closer to her, dancing face-to-face. "This is a night of many firsts for you, isn't it?"_

" _Woo!" she replied, cheering for his movements. His waist seemed slim, yet strong, and his torso was very well-built. He turned, giving her a glimpse of what seemed to be a rather fine ass. "Get it, Faator!"_

 _He laughed along, watching her physical retort with some pleasure. She displayed her moves to him, which were refined under the circumstances, and as she raised her arms above her head, he could see more of what she had to offer, stimulating an awkward cough as he cleared his throat. He wasn't a human fetishist, by any means; he'd had a Quarian girlfriend before the Geth attacks began, and another fling somewhere between then and now, but he found himself enticed by her. Maybe it was the drinks._

" _We don't seem all that different, do we?" he asked her over the booming stereo._

" _I wouldn't know! You could be some sort of hideous blob monster under all that clothing!" Catherine teased. "Do I look like one of your girls?"_

 _She twirled slowly for him, being sure to shift her weight from hip to hip. He hummed, almost purring from the sight. "No, you… look…"_

 _Noticing his stammering, Catherine slowed down, then stopped dancing. "Are you okay, Faator?"_

" _Ah, yes, maybe we should, um… maybe we should sit down a moment?"_

* * *

 _Load moans echoed through the room as the headboard slammed against the wall. This was their sixth round, as could be counted by the small pile of condoms that had been disposed of in the bin. Catherine gritted her teeth, then opened her mouth to bite down on his neck. She'd learned it drove him mad, incidentally leaving a few marks here and there._

 _By and large, Quarians had beautiful faces. It was a shame to see them so hidden away; she could hardly stand to not look up at him, to touch those wonderfully soft lips and feel as though she were the luckiest person alive._

 _Faator cried out, signaling his release. He held her head close, moving more quickly and sending shockwaves through Catherine that delivered her own ecstasy. Panting and sweating, he collapsed on top of her, resting his cheek on her shoulder. His hand caressed her hair, twirling the short and curled locks between his fingers with a relaxed interest._

" _A night of firsts," he whispered. "And… seconds. And thirds. And fourths…"_

" _I think it's tomorrow," Catherine replied, looking over at the clock beside her room's bed. They'd gone to stay in her hotel room; fortunately, the walls were thick. "Glad I've got the next few days off. I'll have to fix my sleep schedule."_

 _The Quarian smiled, pulling out and heading for the restroom to clean himself off. "I'll be out of commission for a while, myself. I can already feel the cold coming on."_

 _Catherine sat up, tucking her feet under the blankets that had been thrown about. "…I could, um… I could take care of you."_

 _Faator raised a brow, looking over his shoulder at the hot-mess of a goddess he'd spent so much time with. For someone so fierce, she seemed almost mousy now._

" _I mean, I'm very glad we… I'm glad we met, but… If you're going to be sick, why don't you stay here? I can keep an eye on your temperature, bring you food, and we could watch reruns of that weird new Hanar sitcom…"_

 _She felt fear clasping at her throat._

He doesn't want to stay, _she thought._ This was a one-time thing. He's done. Don't be weird.

 _Faator walked towards her, putting on the black bodysuit that went underneath the layers of clothes. It had taken so long to get him bare; she wondered how long it took to put it all back on._

Great. You scared him.

" _I'd like that," Faator smiled, kissing her on the forehead. She felt a wave of relief wash over her. "We could get to know each other more and just, you know… have a few days of peace."_

 _He began to put his clothes back on, including the various bits and pieces of armor._

" _Hope you don't mind me putting the helmet back on," he laughed. "I like you, but maybe not enough to die of exposure."_

" _I'd better get one more kiss first."_


	6. Chapter 6

**6.**

Noveria's afternoon sun was a massive white blur in the sky, and without clouds to deter its wrath, it seemed to reflect on every surface of the planet in blinding brilliance. As the shelter door opened, Catherine's visor only slightly helped with the UV rays, causing her to squint. Once again, the scope of their situation dawned on her, and she considered going back inside, closing the door, and accepting her fate.

She looked over her shoulder, feeling Kassius approaching. He, too, was clearly reluctant, but he would never let his only acquaintance be on her own in this danger.

"The weather seems alright today," he noted, voice transmitted through a mouthpiece that somewhat deepened its tone. "First sign of a blizzard and we turn back. Keep an eye on your footing, too. When the sun reflects off of the ice, sometimes ditches and valleys can be hardly distinguishable – especially since Pax is such a white light."

"Mm," Catherine replied. She didn't want to admit her nervousness, since she had just been so brash only moments ago. Her knees felt weak, but she started to walk northwest, slowly making her way from their shelter. Kassius followed closely, keeping an eye on her like an overprotective parent.

He was grateful that she hadn't headed northeast, in the direction of the valley. In due time, her crashed ship and the bodies of her fellow soldiers would have been frozen over on the river, but they would be a monument on that region for ages to come. She wasn't ready to see that.

Eventually, their home was no longer in sight. Minutes later, they had reached their halfway point, signaled by a beeping from Kassius' suit.

"See anything?"

Catherine looked up at the mountains and steep cliffs that made up the horizon, then shook her head.

"No," she answered. "Not a single tower or light. I suspect we'll do this a little each day, though; make a radius around our station every day until eventually we've got something."

She stopped, taking in the scene.

"We had mountains this big back on Earth, you know. I never took the chance to go see them. They weren't covered in ice, either – some were lined with dense forests and small mountain towns. I guess they were protected ecosystems. We had to do that after our first population boom – set aside reserves everywhere we could manage."

With a sigh, she turned around. Kassius tilted his head, having not heard much about Earth or its environment before. He tended to imagine most planets to be like his own home world, but that was seldom the case.

"Let's head back," Kassius offered. He wanted to tell her not to give up hope, but it felt hypocritical before it ever came out of him, so he held out an arm in gesture, placing his hand upon her shoulder. "Give our suits a chance to recharge and then maybe we can go back out in an hour or two."

Catherine hesitated upon his touch, but relaxed into it as she took his side. "Perhaps we can play that game with the paper while we wait."

Kassius smiled, his mandibles slightly bouncing off of his face. It was a silly game, similar to the human sport of volleyball but with a wadded-up sheet of paper and some sheets for a net, but damned if it didn't get competitive. "I'd like that."

* * *

 _Soft music surrounded them as they held each other close, patiently waiting for their final day together. A Hanar drama played out on the television, but they barely paid attention past their individual dread of the future._

 _It was Faator who broke the silence._

" _Want to run away with me?" he asked, sounding quite serious. Catherine replied by moving her chin to his shoulder, looking through his helmet and into his white eyes with concern. "We could do that. Get a ship and just go AWOL, spend the rest of our days curled up next to a fire."_

" _You're forgetting the part where we find a doctor willing to run away with us," she replied with a smile, rubbing her forehead on him. "You've been coughing all morning."_

" _I'd adjust eventually," he said. "Probably rather quickly, from how often I'd like to be subjected to you."_

 _The human rolled her eyes. "We'd also need a chef that could whip up dextro and levo foods and just happened to have enough supplies to last our lifetimes."_

" _Cat."_

 _She looked back at him as Faator sat up, resting his head on a pile of pillows behind him._

" _I'm serious. We hardly know one another, but you are wonderful company. I can think of no one worthier of my time. Let's run away."_

 _Her heart ached. Nobody had been this kind to her since before, well, everything. Even if it was a lie, one spawned out of a desperate daydream, she felt inclined to say yes and lay about, fantasizing about what they'd do and where they'd go._

" _We could get married," she jested._

" _Our doctor and personal chef could attend the ceremony," Faator added. "One big happy family."_

* * *

Their second trek started just after their game of Paperball, with both of them slightly tuckered out. Kassius was somewhat embarrassed from his lack of physical prowess – while there was a treadmill, he'd lost the motivation to use it every day, and along with that, he'd lost his stamina.

This time, they headed west. The sun had barely moved despite the hours that passed, and a few thin clouds had wandered across the sky, bringing light snowfall in patches.

Ten minutes into their walk, Catherine stopped, biting her lip.

"Everything okay?" Kassius asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "Just preoccupied, I guess."

"I'm here if you'd like to talk about it."

Catherine hesitated, then resumed in her march. They only had a few more minutes before they had to turn back, and she didn't feel like wasting the opportunity. If she could see one light in the distance, she'd have faith again. "I was recalling a recent encounter I had."

Something about the way she said encounter gave away the subject. "You mean the Quarian?"

"I forgot I'd mentioned him to you," she admitted, stepping over a large rock rather than moving around it. "We spent three days together. Both of us would go on and on about running away together, forsaking our duties and just fucking around while everything went to shit. Then, when the time came, we both just… got ready, gave each other a hug, and said goodbye.

"I don't get why we'd lie to one another like that, or how we both knew it was a fantasy. I don't know if I miss him, or if I care about him, or…"

She trailed off, looking ahead and feeling a little sick to her stomach. Kassius picked up on her body language, quickly continuing their conversation.

"Perhaps you were both satisfied with that future," he speculated. "You thought about how happy and perfect everything would be all the way to the end, but perfect can be intimidating. It could be that you both knew you had a strong sense of duty, but you wanted a peak into another timeline.

"You lived another live together, and it was good. Then you decided to move on with this one."

Catherine looked over her shoulder at him, continuing forward. She felt warm inside, content with his explanation.

"You know, Kass—"

Suddenly, she felt a split second of weightlessness and fear. The ground had vanished before her for an unknown expanse, but she could see its darkest depths now that she was succumbed to it. In an attempt to spin around, she slipped, screaming and clawing into the ice.

* * *

 **Author's Note.**

 **I had actually run out of ideas for this story and was planning on trashing it, but upon a replay of the Noveria mission I was overcome with ideas, so rest assured, this now has a strong direction and I look forward to writing more.**


	7. Chapter 7

**7.**

 _His elbow dug into the steel of the table as he leaned on his arm. He'd been scolded for the posture before – a Turian ought to sit up straight or else risk his charisma. Still, when he found himself enveloped in his writings, dragging his pen against the paper with polished calligraphy, he barely kept his face away from the pages. It was an intimate way to write; he made love to his art._

 _The door slid open behind him. He hardly noticed as his brother joined him, folding his hands under his chin as he sat across the table. Soft music drifted through the cooling autumn air._

" _I thought schools had abandoned traditional materials," Saturus commented, breaking his brother's train of thought. He eyed the notebook with lighthearted suspicion._

 _Kassius looked up, shifting his arm so that his plates scraped the table. "Oh, this? It's my writing journal. I just bought it."_

" _A journal?" the elder asked, smiling. Despite the steep age difference, Saturus treated Kassius with respect and kindness. Kassius was fourteen now, and with the exception of a few unorthodox hobbies, he was a well-adjusted kid. The family believed he was destined for greatness. "What do you write?"_

 _Kassius' mandibles rolled, a childish gesture to symbolize indifference. Outside of very informal circumstances, the movement could be considered crass. "It's a mix of creative musings and personal reflections. I think the thoughts flow better when you physically connect your mind to the paper."_

 _With that, he closed the journal, realizing he would inevitably have to face the situation they found themselves in. While the whole family often got together for holidays and celebrations, today they met for a darker premise._

" _How is he?"_

 _Saturus' face was soft, but he couldn't hide the sadness in his voice. "They can't go through with the surgery. It'll kill him. We're uh… not sure how long he's got. His eyes are milky and distant; he's lived a long life."_

 _Kassius sighed through his nose. Their grandfather was nearly one hundred and thirty now. He led their family well, instilling all the values in them that a good Turian ought to have. Behind closed doors, he, too, was a writer. In the shadows of anonymity, he published poems of beauty and of love, even when he served in wars and was surrounded by what seemed to be the polar opposite. This was a tightly-held secret, but Kassius bore the knowledge, for his grandfather saw his potential._

 _The brothers exchanged a glance, reading one another's body language. Saturus glanced through the window as_ _Vymeria danced with their cousins. In the wake of bad news, everyone seemed to carry on as usual._

" _You love Grandfather, don't you?" Saturus questioned, raising a brow. His tone was harmless and comforting. "Why don't you try and steal a moment with him?"_

" _I don't want to look weak," Kassius admitted. His young voice quivered, breaking with the final word. "I'm trying to gather my courage. I just know that looking into his eyes will change something in me. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that change yet."_

 _Saturus stood, walking to his brother's side and putting a firm hand on his shoulder. Then, quite unexpectedly, he went in for a hug, resting his forehead against his scalp. Kassius flinched, but accepted the affection, touching his brother's hand. "You don't have to cross a battlefield, you only have to cross the living room."_

 _After a moment longer, he moved away, allowing the younger brother to rise from his chair. Kassius took the notebook, tucking it under his arm._

" _You're right," he said. "Nonetheless, it's never easy to brace yourself for the last time you'll see someone."_

 _He opened the door, leaving the elder behind as he stepped through the living room. The music was distinctly louder, but not inappropriate for the situation, avoiding modern synthesizing in favor of more traditional sounds. At the end of the room, his grandfather sat alone, leaning on a cane and watching his family with approval. He hardly noticed Kassius' approach._

" _Avus," he began, the term of endearment cracking out of him like a pathetic whisper. "How are you feeling?"_

 _His grandfather gave a large smile, hoisting himself from the couch. "Why, Kass, I was wondering when you might come in and speak with this old man."_

He dodged the question _, thought Kassius, but he decided not to press him._

" _What's that under your arm?" asked the patriarch, gesturing to the notebook. "Are you writing by hand?"_

" _I once heard you say that the hand is tied to the heart," Kassius answered proudly. "I've been writing more lately. Some of my classmates find it strange, but Saturus tells me it will set me apart, maybe help me get a girlfriend."_

 _The old Turian laughed heartily, chest swelling with pride. "Sweet Kassius, you are a bloom of hope for my dying soul."_

 _ **Dying.**_

 _Kassius smiled weakly._

" _I uh… I have something for you," he whispered. "But I cannot give it to you here. We have to go to another room."_

 _His grandfather raised a brow, but nodded, pursing his mandibles to the sides of his face. "Sure. Let's head to my room; I've got to take some medicine anyways."_

 _Kassius nodded, following him out into the hall and through the door that led to his room. It was decorated in a manner typical of a veteran, with medals, flags, and family photographs adorning the walls and shelves. The colors were a touch outdated, but after one hundred years, one could not be expected to care for trends, especially those shaped by the ever-changing intergalactic community._

 _He watched as the old Turian feebly walked to his bed, all but collapsing onto the side. It was obvious that there was a lot of effort involved in even the smallest movements, but the elder was a good actor. He fetched the pills on his side table, opening the bottle and popping one large tablet into his mouth._

" _If you don't mind, I'll lay down a moment," he stated, moving closer towards the center and resting his head on a pillow. The fringes, long and sharp, hung just off the top of it. "What is it you wished to show me?"_

 _Seeing his grandfather in such a state nearly took the breath out of Kassius, but he swallowed his fear, for his sake. "I wrote something for you."_

 _This caught his attention. His eyes widened with delight and surprise, and he turned his head just slightly towards him. "You did?"_

" _Yes."_

 _Kassius shuffled his feet, then pulled the journal from under his arm, flipping the pages._

" _Would you like to hear it—"_

" _What kind of blasted question is that? Of course I want to hear it."_

 _Kassius blinked, then smiled, locating what he had written. With a clearing of his throat, he scanned the words, though now that he looked upon them, his heart felt heavier than lead._

* * *

"CATHERINE!"

The Turian lunged horror, sprawling out over the cliff's edge and extending his hand. Catherine hung by a single jagged ridge that jutted outwards from the otherwise slick ice. In its depths, he could barely make out the bottom of the valley below.

"Try to grab onto me!" he ordered, edging slightly forward so that he could further his reach. Any more and he might fall in, too.

"I'm scared!"

Catherine could feel her grip weakening with every passing moment; she only had the ledge by her fingertips, and while the gloves provided some resistance, it would not last. With her free hand, she began to reach for him, but her heart filled with panic as the weight shifted. There was too much space between their hands for her to have any hope of grabbing onto him.

"I can't reach you!" she screamed so loud that her voice cracked. The dangers of an avalanche were beyond her at this point.

It hit her harder now than ever before that she was not ready to die. She wasn't sure what exactly she had to live for; perhaps it was only a natural desire to fear death when it came knocking.

"Please don't let me die!"

Kassius swallowed hard, his heart slamming against his chest. If he moved any more, he might not have the balance to hold her weight without slipping into his own demise. He needed something to reach her with, but there were no trees here, and therefore no limbs or sticks; he did not have rope, tools, or weapons at his side.

 _Come on, Kassius, use your head._

He closed his eyes, then suddenly ripped off his helmet, exposing his face to the bitter cold he had hardly noticed before this. Once again, he reached down, holding one edge of the helmet and offering her the other. "Can you reach this?!"

She tried once more, coming up inches short. "I-I can't!"

"You're going to have to pull yourself higher!"

Catherine gasped, sliding a little more on the ledge. Damned if she did, damned if she didn't. She repeated herself. "I'm scared!"

"You have survived insurmountable odds before!" Kassius called, feeling as though his internal body temperature was already beginning to drop. "You're not alone this time! I'm here, Catherine!"

The girl braced herself, whining loudly in despair, and with much strain, she pushed herself up, fingers aching from the pressure as she reached for the edge of the helmet. Just a little further…

"Agh!"

She leapt up, pushing her fingers against the ledge and giving herself just enough leverage to grasp weakly onto the helmet. She screamed, body slamming against the side of the cliff.

"Pull me up!"

Kassius growled, surprised at her weight. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but she was somewhat heavier than he had imagined such a soft-looking creature to be. He quickly tugged, pulling himself back and clinging onto their lifeline despite the burning sensation that built up in his lungs. Finally, she peeked over the edge, grabbing onto the side with her right hand and pulling just a little more.

She collapsed at his side. Both of them breathed heavily, hearts aching from the fear. Kassius finally donned his helmet, though it seemed to only provide minimal protection from its internal exposure to the cold.

Catherine began to sob, laying flat on her back. It seemed to go on for several minutes – the panting from him, the crying from her.

She rolled onto her side, wrapping an arm tightly around his torso and catching him off-guard. His teeth chattered from the cold, but his head turned towards hers.

"Y-you saved my life…" she whispered, slamming her head against his side. "I thought I was going to plummet to my death. I…"

She sat up quickly.

"You must be so cold! We need to head back."

Kassius nodded weakly. Catherine stood, helping him up and putting an arm under his for support, and though he hadn't quite reached _that_ level of exhaustion, he did not reject the help.

The duo rushed back to their shelter just as the clouds began to roll in, signaling the beginning of a storm and the end of a day.


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

By the time the duo arrived back at their shelter, Kassius was shivering violently. The brief moments without his helmet had certainly done a number on him, but his species' disposition didn't help his case – turians did not fare well in the cold, and their typical body temperature was a few degrees warmer than a human's. A moment longer and he might have developed hypothermia, and Catherine was absolutely unprepared for such a catastrophe.

She did, however, act fast upon their arrival. She threw their comforter into the dryer on high heat and began to make some hot water for tea. When she turned her head, she could see him struggling to remove his clothes as his hands shook uncontrollably.

With a tilt of her head, she rushed to him. "Here, let me help you."

Her efforts weren't much better than the turian's – while she was physically more coordinated, the various clasps and buckles seemed to cause hesitation. Eventually, he was stripped down to his bodysuit, and even it seemed cold to the touch.

"You can remove that. I don't want to be too invasive."

Kassius nodded, gritting his teeth so they didn't clack against each other. He slowly removed the black garments, fully bared to his human roommate. It was a touch embarrassing, though she seemed to be ignoring his nudity for now as she pulled the large, white blanket from the heat. He couldn't help but face away from her; while nudity wasn't such a shock in his culture, he knew how the humans could be, and with Catherine being of the opposite sex and an admitted one-time xenophile, he wasn't sure if he wanted her curiosity to extend his way.

She approached him from behind, wrapping the comforter around him.

"Sit down on the bed. Your tea's almost done."

"Catherine, I…"

He shivered again, interrupting himself. Catherine walked briskly, grabbing his tea and bringing it to him in such a hurry that a splash of it landed on the floor.

"Here. This should help you."

She smiled at him, and for the first time, he didn't notice any sadness hidden in her eyes. Fear, yes, but that lost and disassociated stare seemed to be gone for now.

"Hm," Catherine began, studying him as he had studied her. "That's strange."

"What's wrong?" he asked, unsteadily bringing the cup to his mouth.

Catherine steadied his hands, helping him. "I've never really looked at you. You have a nice face."

It was true; his eyes were a saturated mix of brown and yellow. His plates were silvery in hue, with red markings that seemed to accentuate his facial structure. Some turians had marks that took over their face, but his were just right.

The turian flicked his mandibles with slight confusion, taking in the tea. It really did seem to help.

As he regained his strength, he watched Catherine walk out of the room to change clothes. She returned in her sweats, then took a seat next to him on the bed, wrapping the left side of the blanket around herself. Her heat built up around her, transferring slowly to him. It felt nice, like sitting next to a fire.

The warmer he became, the more frantically he started to think.

"Catherine, I'm not sure about these excursions," he finally stated. "When you went over that cliff, I thought I was going to lose my only friend. I wasn't sure I could go through that loss again."

Catherine did not reply, but leaned on his shoulder. She had no intention of cancelling her search over one near-death experience, but for now, she sought only to comfort him.

"When you showed up, I wasn't sure how much longer I could wait around. I was afraid of death, but the loneliness seemed worse. Since you've been here, I have a reason to wake up every day."

"Why, if we weren't the only two people in the whole galaxy, I'd think you were in love with me," Catherine joked.

Kassius didn't respond; he only hung his head. He knew what she meant – he wasn't in love with her, but he loved her nonetheless out of need and desperation.

"Please, just be careful from now on," he pleaded. His sub-vocals would have given away a much direr tone, but although she could feel the vibrations against her, she had no means of translating them.

"I will be," Catherine assured him, nuzzling her head on his arm. "Now, come on. Tonight, we can sleep in the same bed. I'll keep you warm."

Kassius thought about the possibility of her brushing against any sensitive regions and shuddered. "That's fine, but if it's all well, I'd like to have some pants on."

She suddenly looked quite shocked, as if she had never noticed his nudity to begin with. "Oh. Yes, perhaps that would make things less awkward."

* * *

 _Flashing lights cast the room in magenta and blue shades. The music declared the party's status as a rave, though it was restricted under the legal limitations that came with the watchful eyes of C-Sec. Vymeria was dancing, of course – partying seemed to be one of her favorite pass-times, despite her rather serious occupation as a navigational officer._

 _Saturus was on duty with his team. They had been sent to investigate some recent batarian trade routes that were emerging in Citadel space. It didn't sound particularly interesting to Kassius, but it had to be better than sitting around, wasting his graduation day at a dance with his sister, watching interested men gather around her as if she were some spectacle to behold._

" _Kass!" she called out, moving towards him with drinks in her hands. She offered him one; with some hesitation, he took it, though he stared at it in uncertainty. Turian drinking laws mandated that after one's graduation, they were free to do as they pleased; prior to that, they could drink in the presence of their family, but not beyond the confines of their homes. "You are_ way _too glum, brother! Lighten up a little before you scare people out of here!"_

" _Sorry, Vy, this just isn't my field of expertise… all the dancing, drinking…"_

 _A couple of girls occasionally looked at him from the bar, obviously enamored and tipsy. One was a fairly pretty asari who had to have just entered adulthood herself – her face was soft-featured and innocent despite the intoxication. The other was a lanky turian he recognized as an upperclassman. She'd been heavily involved in the sports teams, occasionally making the news on Palaven for her skills with a rifle and her record-breaking speed on the track. She was sure to have a full-ride into any university, but girls like her didn't go to fancy academies – she was true to her turian nature and had, by her uniform, already signed up for military duty. School could wait until she earned it._

 _He looked away after catching their gaze, rubbing the back of his neck._

"… _Makes me uncomfortable."_

 _Vymeria watched his eyes, looking over at the pair of women. Her mandibles flickered in amusement. "You've always been terrible with women. They like you – why don't you go say hello? Maybe you'll get to have your first time with TWO women!"_

 _Kassius stood up, preparing to leave the club. His sister grabbed onto his hand, laughing boisterously from behind him._

" _Oh, Kass, I'm only joking. Come on, at least let me share the experience of your first drink!"_

 _He grumbled, looking down at the beverage that was still in his hand. It looked like water, but smelled strongly of alcohol, almost enough to compare with straight acetone. "What is this, anyway?"_

" _It's called the Vymeria! They named it after me!"_

 _That couldn't be good._

 _Still, he had been curious about the effects of alcohol. If he was going to drink, wouldn't it be better to do so in the presence of family that he trusted? Even through her partying nature, Vymeria was a reliable woman, so if things went south, she'd be there for him._

 _He lifted the cylinder to his mouth, but was quickly stopped._

" _No, I can tell you're gonna wuss out of this. You've got to chug it – down it all in one gulp. Otherwise, you sit there sipping it like it's some kind of dainty evening beverage, and you'll stop after three sips. I guarantee," Vymeria pressed. "On the count of three, throw it back."_

 _Annoyed, Kassius quickly downed the drink before she could even begin to count. It was every bit as horrible as he imagined it would be, and he coughed, grabbing at his throat as if he'd been poisoned. The two girls that had watched him from the bar now giggled, understanding his situation entirely despite having no part in it._

 _His eyes watered as the hellfire settled in. "Spirits, did you poison me?"_

" _Technically, spirits are a type of poison," Vymeria quipped. "But no, I just gave you something to get your party started."_

" _That's… disconcerting," Kassius replied, wishing he had something to wash the taste down with._

 _The music shifted to something a little faster, and the DJ, a Hanar by the name of Sofistranomolus, or DJ Sofi, somehow spoke through the speakers without the use of a microphone._

" _This one wishes to request an inquiry as to the well-being of the audience."_

 _With that, the room erupted in cheering. Kassius held his head, wondering when the drink might take effect. Vymeria looked towards the DJ's booth, throwing up a fist and joining in on the fanfare._

" _An excellent response. The audience has gratified the efforts of this one. Prior to the initiation of the next song, this one would like to offer congratulations to the recent turian graduates. May the Enkindlers guide you all and provide infinite wisdom in the years to come."_

" _What a character," Vymeria chuckled, shaking her head. "Alright, Kass. Let's get you on the floor."_

 _Kassius groaned. "I'd rather not."_

" _Come on! Just one dance with your big sister? We never get to hang out anymore."_

 _He turned his head in rejection._

" _Pleeeeeaaaase?"_

" _If it will make you stop harassing me, then I'll dance to one song."_

" _Yes!"_

 _He stood up, and suddenly, the effects of his drink became quite evident. His eyes widened as he stumbled, barely able to hold himself up at first. Eventually, he gathered some composure, but the sensation was startling – not unlike standing up on a ship after takeoff._

" _Shit," he mumbled, surprising himself. "I, uh… that was fast."_

 _Vymeria laughed. "Don't drink any more than that. It's slow to sink in, but you'll be hammered in a few minutes."_

Damn Vymeria.

 _He followed her like a puppy through the crowd, but almost immediately, he lost sight of her. Typically, he'd feel an immediate need to leave, but the music had begun to settle, and he soon found himself actually wanting to dance._

 _The turian and asari from the bar seemed to appear in front of him, joining his movements with their own._

" _Was that your first time drinking?" the turian asked in a soothing, mature voice. His heart fluttered a little._

" _I just graduated, so yes," he replied, just loudly enough to be audible. He wasn't sure what he was doing on the dancefloor, but hopefully he looked as cool as he felt._

 _The girls exchanged a glance, smiling at one another._

" _I'm Sereen," the turian said, then placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "This is my best friend, Q'ora."_

" _A pleasure. I'm Kassius."_

" _You just graduated?" Q'ora asked. "What are your plans now?"_

" _I'm thinking about serving with my brother, Saturus. He's got his own ship now. He's a pretty cool guy."_

 _As he began to ramble, he realized he ought to return the question._

" _And what about you two?"_

" _Well, I'm currently stationed on Palaven, but I'm hoping to transfer here," Sereen answered. "There's a little more adventure to be had in such a mixed community. I'd like to join C-Sec, maybe in traffic control"_

" _And I'm studying film at the Citadel Academy of Arts," Q'ora replied. "When Sereen comes here, she usually stays with me."_

 _The alcohol made his head feel foggier by the second, almost as though he was dreaming. He hardly noticed the song change to a more bass-heavy one, and he was even less aware of how close Sereen had come to him, or how provocatively she danced. To a sober person, her intentions would be evident, but in the moment, Kassius hardly felt perceptive._

 _Q'ora moved behind him, and soon, he was sandwiched between two attractive women, dancing in a way that spelled trouble. The smell of their perfumes wafted towards him, along with a faint and more carnal scent he wasn't familiar enough to recognize._

" _You're a good dancer, Kass," Sereen complimented, watching him like a hawk._

" _Thank you!"_

" _They say a man who dances well fucks better."_

 _Her bluntness was harsh enough to sink in. Kassius' mandibles slightly parted as he became more flustered. "I, uh, wouldn't know. Never done it."_

Fucking moron, _he thought to himself._ You're still cognitive enough to know that's embarrassing. Snap out of it.

Fuck you, me!

" _Well, I wouldn't mind breaking you in," Sereen replied. She was an absolute madwoman, and her asari companion was just as bad as she snuck her way to his aural canal, whispering in a sinfully husky tone._

" _Why don't we go back to my place?"_

" _Back to… your place…?"_

 _It had taken him a while, but Kassius was now fully aware of the situation he found himself in. His cognitive mind was behind closed doors now, but he could feel it slamming against them. His body, on the other hand, was all for the idea – even through his shyness, his plates had shifted beneath his codpiece._

" _Look, I, uh, appreciate the offer, but… I don't take this stuff lightly," he tried to say, though his anxiety had built up in his chest. His sub-vocals gave away some of his nervousness, and unfortunately for him, some of his arousal._

 _Sereen took this as an invitation, pressing herself fully against him. Others in the club danced in such a way, meaning this act drew no outside attention. She moved his hands to her waist, making him almost sick with strange desires._

 _Almost sick._

 _Sick._

 _Very sick._

 _He gagged, covering his mouth and ripping away from her hips. Rushing clumsily to the restroom, his mind raced: what had he drank?_

 _Whatever it was, it was about to come back up, and then he was getting the hell out of here._


	9. Chapter 9

**9.**

Kassius sat up with great alarm. Outside, a thunderstorm had brewed, flashing its way through the heavy snowfall without mercy for any who might be attempting to sleep. Today, however, he was grateful to have had his dreams interrupted. Images of marauders killing their way through Palaven burned into his mind even as he regained his consciousness.

His chest heaved as he panted, trying desperately to shake the fear.

"Bad dreams?"

He looked over at Catherine, who sat in front of the opened window, tablet in hand. With a quick nod, he fell back against the pillows. "Bad dreams, yes, and before that, bad memories."

"Do you want to talk about them?"

Kassius shook his head. "No, I'd rather not think about the dreams at all."

Catherine tilted her head, mounds of curly hair piling up on her shoulder. "What about the memories?"

He didn't feel much like talking about that night at the bar, but he almost felt like he owed Catherine some lore, after everything she had ever spilled to him.

"Yeah… my sister once got me so intoxicated at a party that I wound up vomiting in the men's room after being invited to a ménage-à-trois. I didn't really go out with her after that."

Catherine raised a brow, chuckling. "Sounds like a hell of a night."

In the back of his mind, Kassius almost felt stupid for being so nervous in that moment. He never had the chance to be with a woman after that – the geth attacks started only shortly after his deployment.

Then again, most turian men seemed to agree that once you lost your virginity, you never wanted to stop. Even his brother had been quite the ladies' man before falling in with his fiancée. He couldn't imagine the precarious situation of being alone for a month after being exposed to such sensations.

"Were you ever in love?"

Kassius was taken aback. "What?"

"I've been reading some of your stories," she admitted. This stirred up a little anger in him, if only out of embarrassment, but he stifled it. "You seem to write about love a lot, almost as if the concept is spiritual to you… but you write it flawlessly, which incriminates you. You've never been with anyone, have you?"

"That's a bit, erm, personal…"

Catherine stopped, not wanting to seem to disrespectful. She had already pried enough into his life by reading through his stories, but her boredom in the past couple of hours had inspired her.

"Did you love the quarian?" Kassius asked, prying back. It was more out of annoyance than curiosity, but he could tell he struck a nerve when her eyes became downcast.

"No," she answered. It was difficult to say so, but she'd given it plenty of thought. "It was just sex. Good, but desperate sex."

His guilt for bringing out the memories made him feel obligated to say more. "Well, I've never even had _that._ I guess it's a shame, really – even before I came here, I led a solitary life. Few friends, no lovers – most of the time, I just had my brother."

"Did you ever like a girl?" Catherine asked, then paused. "Or a guy?"

"I've never liked anyone in that sort of way," he answered. "The closest I ever got was that intoxicated state of arousal. My brother always assured me it would happen, but the minute I stepped into adulthood—"

"All hell broke loose," Catherine finished, knowing fully well of what he meant.

"Yeah."

There was some silence between them, and then thunder shook the building, making Catherine jump. Thunderstorms on Noveria weren't very common, but when they happened, they were big, usually accompanied by a severe blizzard.

"Did you know there was music on here?" she asked, holding up the tablet. "Both of them have some downloaded. I bet I could hook it up to the radio, since it's not really useful otherwise."

Without invitation, she wandered over to the radio, which sat on the counter between the kitchen and main room. After a few minutes of meddling, she let out a small cheer, then set the tablet on the counter as soft music began to play from the speakers. It was slow and mellifluous, consisting only of a piano and the surprisingly lush voice of a human female.

"Mm," Catherine remarked. "Not bad. Old, but not bad."

"You recognize this?" Kassius asked her. She started to dance on her own, slowly and with her eyes closed.

"Yes. I heard it at a wedding once."

She hummed along, singing only with the few words she knew. Her voice was sweet when she sang; not professional, by any means, but soulful and deep.

Watching her dance made Kassius' heart sink. It was different than what he'd been exposed to, even from humans at clubs. His head started to tilt, not fully understanding her motivation to move in such a way. She started to move closer to him, but he sensed nothing malicious.

"Would you like to dance with me?" she asked, offering a hand.

"I don't dance," he replied coldly, recalling past events. Still, he knew this wouldn't end up badly, even if he did. She wasn't in this for anything but fun.

"Fair enough."

Catherine stepped back, continuing to hum and drift through what he could only imagine to be a warm memory of a happy ceremony. Slowly, he stood from the bed, walking towards her with quiet footsteps. When she turned, face meeting his torso, she smiled, looking back up at him. Her eyes seemed to shine.

"You'll have to show me what to do," he whispered, not wanting to cut off the song.

"Okay," she replied. "Place one hand in mine, and the other on my waist."

His mandibles extended as he placed a hand on her hip. To a turian, the region was somewhat erogenous to the touch, but surely humans weren't the same in that regard. The tension didn't end there, as she placed a hand on his shoulder shortly after; while that wasn't a particularly sensitive region, the intimacy was shocking.

"This is how you normally dance with someone…?" he asked, unsure if she was messing with him.

She answered him with a nod, easing him a little. "This is how we slow dance. It's a little more modest than what you'd find at, say, Flux."

"Seems more intimate and less at the same time," Kassius responded. "Of course, the dancers at Flux have a tendency to practically molest one another on the floor."

"If it's too intimate, or if you're uncomfortable…"

The turian smiled, closing his eyes and gently shaking his head. "No, Catherine. There's no one I'd rather try this with."

"Not that you have many options," Catherine darkly joked. To her relief, he laughed.

"That's a fair point, but I suppose what I mean to say is that this sort of thing always made me uncomfortable, even before the crash. Right now, it feels…"

He stopped himself. It felt _good_ , even _perfect_ , but those words weren't coming out of his mouth. Saying such a thing might validate him into feeling more affectionate for her than he ought to be limited to.

"…pleasant."

The human's lips curled into a smile, dimpled at her cheeks. "I'll take that as a compliment."

He was careful not to tread on her feet, occasionally looking down to check his footing. The scent of her hair caught him, and he let it sink in, associating her sweet scent with the moment they experienced.

Had she ever loved anyone? She'd never mentioned it. Through occasional flings and one-nighters, she seemed to be quick to sever ties with most. Despite their different experiences, they were both in the same boat of never having loved, and never having been loved.

 _I can fix that,_ he thought to himself. _I can love her._

His heart fluttered at the aspect, as if awoken from some deep hibernation that had controlled him throughout his entire life. He blinked once; his eyes, upon reopening, began to look at Catherine though a new light. Had he really saved her, or had she saved him?

 _She could love me, too._

His mouth parted just as the song concluded.

 _No._

His heart sank as he removed his hand from her waist, eyes scanning hers for any signs of shared feelings. They were there, alright – she had been thinking something similar. This wasn't love, it was desperation. They hardly knew one another, and if they thought they were falling in love, they were delusional.

If they did somehow manage to find others on Noveria, she'd run off. Maybe she'd find someone else; spirits, maybe by some astronomical coincidence, she'd find the quarian. Who was he, then? A placeholder? A pass-time? A means of release?

The thoughts began to rile him up, filling him with an anger she didn't deserve. Catherine picked up on it before he could even act out, casting her eyes to the floor and walking over to shut off their radio.

"You're upset," Catherine whispered, grabbing the tablet from the counter. Kassius found himself a little embarrassed, wondering to what extent she was able to read him. "I'm sorry."

His mandibles twitched, unsure of what she could be apologizing for, and hoping he hadn't somehow hurt her feelings before he even uttered a word. "N-no, I'm sorry. I'm just…"

 _Think, damn it._

"…I'm just realizing I haven't been truly happy in a long time," he said, rubbing the ridges on the back of his neck. "Even before the Reapers; no, even before the Geth, I was always so damned melancholic."

Catherine nodded, once again too understanding. She had been the same way once; behind jokes and a smile, her mind had been a nightmare.

"I never thought I'd find happiness trapped inside of some shed on Noveria, but for a moment there, I felt _something._ You…"

He stared at her, knowing that she was beyond words. She knew his soul, for she had read it. She was a fire that refused to burn out no matter how much life attempted to extinguish her flames. Without her, who would he be now?

Amongst all the confusion, he knew only one truth. "I never want to lose you."

Catherine chewed on her lip, staring at him as though he had gone mad. For a moment, he thought he might have scared her with his frantic way of speaking. How much did she know? Then, with a sigh, she nodded one last time, setting the tablet on its charger. Her hair partially hid her expression, filling him with dread.

She walked past him, crawling into bed and tucking herself in. One of her arms wrapped tightly around the pillow, pulling it against her chest as though it were in place of a lover.

"Kassius?" she asked, closing her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Write something for me, would you?"

Kassius' mouth hung open for a moment, then closed. He looked towards the tablet she had just plugged in, then made his way over to it without further questions. Yes, he would write something for her. Something with meaning, something beautiful.

He took a seat on the floor, back firm against the wall, and pulled up the tablet, turning on the screen. A window had been purposefully left up for him, though he nearly closed it. A notice emerged in the center of the screen: **Would you like to save changes to Untitled-1 before quitting?**

He wondered what she could have been working on. It felt wrong, but if she had read his writings in his rest, he could have a peak at her drawings…

Touching "cancel", he immediately saw the image that had been cloaked by the notice: a portrait of himself, sound asleep in the shelter bed. Particular detail had been given to his face, which looked realistic enough that he nearly expected it to open its eyes.

Kassius stared at the screen for a long time, then looked up at Catherine, whose consciousness had drifted off minutes before.

* * *

Cold air blew in through the door as it quietly parted, wisps brushing gently against the turian's face. For only a moment, Catherine considered waking him, taking him with her, but this had to be done, and he could not be around. She pressed the button at the side, closing the entryway, and turned to face the sunrise. It still snowed, but the storm had subsided, leaving the gentle flakes to dance against her enviro-suit.

She was heading straight from the shelter, although the exact direction of her destination was only a guess – an educated one, but still only theory.

" _The sun that lights the path, hides the darkness deep within,"_ she sang, drudging through the snow with crunching, heavy footsteps. _"And in the aftermath, he'll wonder where I've been."_

Coming to the ledge of a cliff, she looked over a massive valley. It would be difficult to scale, but not impossible. She only had to be careful.

" _And when I look upon him, I'll wish there was another way, but I know that if I tell him, he'll beg for me to stay…"_

The song wasn't one of her favorites, but a roomie of hers in the academy had a particular affinity for _Fleet and Flotilla,_ and inadvertently, she had their entire barracks well-versed in their musical numbers. While the reprise to "I Was Lost Without You" was the more commonly played version of the song, there was a certain element of sadness to the earlier piece that struck a chord within Catherine.

Her descent down the cliffside went by with few scares, and now she found herself in the middle of a massive blue valley. Continuing forward, she kept track of time with the tune, hoping not to be out for too long.

She nearly gave up on her quest, but only moments after her doubts began, she saw exactly what she had come here for… only the sight was far worse than she could have possibly imagined.

The bodies of her allies, partially mummified from the exposure, were scattered about with broken and mangled forms, as if they had been propelled out of the ship at great speeds. The ship itself was a mere frame of its former glory, and signs of an explosion were evident. Now, however, it was a ghost – no lights, no power, no life.

Catherine stood, surrounded by her fellow soldiers, and took in the scene. Her knees trembled, then gave out, leaving her collapsed on the ice. She looked up at the pink hues of the sky, clenching her fists.

"Why me?" she asked no one. Her voice was quiet, barely audible even to herself. She took a deep breath, struggling with herself. It was time to turn back, but she had to stay, if only a while longer. "I don't deserve to live. Why is it always me?"

The silence was bitter, leaving her enraged at gods she didn't believe in, at forces she did not comprehend, and at a universe that was cold and uncaring.

"What did I do to deserve this?!" she yelled, slowly losing herself. She had wanted to come here for peace of mind, seeing it all in-person drove the pain home. Her voice escalated into a scream. "WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DIE?! _WHY AM I ALWAYS LEFT BEHIND?!_ "

The ghosts of her past clawed at her flesh. Her parents' confused and final moments, left to wonder if anyone might save them, if their daughter was safe, if their daughter might show up at the last minute and rescue them; her friends, frozen in time as she sealed herself in the garage, eyes permanently fixed on her even as they vanished. Those eyes were on her now, glaring and laughing at what a waste her survival had been. What might _they_ have accomplished?

Catherine removed the dog tags from her pocket. She had come to bury them, but in her hysteria, she threw them hard, watching them smack against the steel frames of the ship. Sobs caught up with her, clogging her throat so that she could hardly breathe. She clutched at her neck, gasping for air, and collapsed onto her side.

She thought about Kassius. When was he going to die - when the universe had built-up the joke enough? Was he another punchline in the Comedy of Catherine?

" _I don't want to lose you."_

Catherine began to laugh. How could he have dared to say it? It was so ironic, so _fucking_ ironic, because she'd outlive him just as she had outlived the rest. Of course she would.

Dragging herself off the floor, she looked back in the direction of the shelter. Time was ticking, and her little show would have to close the curtains. She took another look at the sky, then raised a middle finger towards it, barely able to find words for how she felt.

" _FUCK YOU!"_ she screamed at the gods, then raised her other middle finger. " _DO YOU HEAR ME?! FUCK YOU!"_

She threw her arms back to her side, running past the bodies and scaling the cliff twice as quickly as she had descended it. Standing at the side, she looked behind her, glaring at the horizon and letting out one last bestial roar.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Growling, yet somewhat satisfied, she stomped her way home, stopping just beside the button to let herself back in. She ripped off her helmet, exposing herself to the chill. The doors flung open on their own, revealing Kassius in the doorway.

The two glared at one another for a long time. Catherine began to build up her anger once more, wanting nothing more than to throw the turian out of her way, but an odd sound came from him – not unlike the whines of a raptor in an old dinosaur film. It took everything out of her in an instant, replacing her feelings with guilt when she could see the immense sadness in his eyes.

"Catherine," Kassius whispered, eyes soft and shining. "I was… worried."

She was unmoving, looking up at him with the most confused look he had ever beheld. She wasn't sure what her next move should be; in fact, her body seemed to move on its own as it collapsed against him, wrapping her arms around his waist and whimpering.

"I don't want to lose you, either," she said, and then burst into tears once again.

* * *

 **Author's Note.**

 **Hey, everyone! The story's probably around halfway over at this point. I've begun to draft up ideas for new fanfiction, but I just want to say that as the fandom shrinks with time, your reviews are appreciated! It makes me glad to know that I'm writing for someone, even if it's just one person out there.**

 **Also, the song I imagined the pair to dance to in this chapter was Fall for You by Leela James, and the referenced song at the end is based around Tali's sing-a-long in the Citadel DLC, though I just changed up the lyrics.**


	10. Chapter 10

**10.**

" _I don't want to lose you, either!"_

Kassius parted his mandibles as the soft human fell against him, arms raised defensively at his sides. Her eyes leaked profusely, like a malfunctioning machine, staining her cheeks with streams of salt. The cold air was almost intangible now; only brisk winds reminded him that there was an outside world beyond _him_ and _her._

Somehow, he knew exactly where she had gone. Part of him expected her to make the journey at some point, but he wished she had taken him along for it; the thought of Catherine wailing in the valley tugged at his heart. He wanted nothing more than to return her embrace; to rest his chin on her shoulder and feel her energy wash through him, but he wouldn't dare take advantage of her vulnerability.

His hand clasped her shoulder, eliciting a sudden jerk as Catherine moved back. Now her facial features seemed angry, though her remaining body language revealed a tone of confused surrender. In the silence, Kassius moved his fingers along her arm, stopping only as he hesitated to intertwine them with hers. They lingered just beyond, lightly brushing the outline of her gloves.

"Come inside," he whispered, focusing on their hands with some intensity. He wasn't sure what else to say. "I'm here right now. Let's get you warmed up, and then we can talk."

Catherine looked up at him with a look that he saw often, but didn't quite understand - it seemed almost like a mixture of bewilderment, frustration, and wonder – and followed him indoors.

"Kassius," she started as he gathered sweats for her to wear. Her embrace had been brief… Too brief. Her mouth felt dry, and her heart pounded enough to leave her feeling winded, but she refused to dwell on the sensation. "I… I had to see it."

"I know," he replied, gently handing her the clothes. He, too, longed for her touch.

 _Now is not the time,_ he urged himself.

Catherine took the clothes into her hand, but did not move to change. Instead, she continued to stare at him with those metallic blue eyes he had, admittedly, grown rather fond of. They spoke a language he wanted nothing more than to understand.

"Kassius," she began again, his name hissing off of her tongue. "I can't…"

Her breathing became unsteady. Quickly, he fell weak to his urges, enveloping her in his arms as another wave of her hysteria seeded itself. His hand froze just beyond her head, then came down, stroking her hair. "…I promise you I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't say that," she warned. "I am the mark of death. You will fall to it, like so many others. It's only a matter of time. What happens when you die, Kass?"

He moved away, retaining a firm grip on her shoulders and lowering himself so that they were on eye-level. "Then I'd want you to know I have enjoyed every moment with you."

She laughed once, following it with a sniffle and wiping under her eyes. Her head shook in disbelief, but beneath the surface, she was healing. "I wish I'd met you elsewhere."

Tucking the clothes under her arm, Catherine moved away and walked to the restroom, shedding her clothes immediately as the door closed behind her. Kassius watched her departure, studying the way her suit was shaped against her shoulders and noticing the various pieces of geometry that seemed to outline the human form. If he had her talents, he'd do a portrait of her. Even his words fell short; a poem could never surmise the strange vibrations she stirred within him. He thought of them as colors, envisioning a dancing aura of reds and whites, but to put it to words?

 _You're in love with her._

 _Maybe so._

The residual energy of their embrace surrounded him. He thought of pressing his head against hers, maybe gently and then roughly as he coaxed her into their bed.

 _Not here,_ he reminded himself. _You'd never forgive yourself if she left you for someone else. You have to see how you hold up against others. You have to give her that chance._

Catherine stepped out of the bathroom, lazily tossing her enviro-suit to the floor and meeting his stare with caution. Her aura danced, too, even as she shivered and struggled to regain her natural warmth.

Peculiarly, she spoke up, as though she had read his mind. At this point, Kassius began to wonder if humans possessed some keen form of telepathy, or if he was simply too easy to read.

"We've got to get out of here."

* * *

" _Ah, damn it! That's the third time this has happened to me today!"_

 _A small circle rotated on the Omni-tool's projection as the video came to a halt. The lag had occurred a couple of times, and while the net was typically slow out in the Terminus Systems, this was especially jarring, especially since the video pertained to their conversation._

 _Arisa Liu tied back her beautifully sleek hair, as she often did when any frustration set in. Catherine watched her fondly, glad that her body language was still the same, even after all these years._

" _I suppose I'll have to show you another time," she sighed, pulling up her bra strap as it sagged down her shoulder, exposing itself beyond her short sleeve. The vehicle came to a halt, with the emergency breaks hissing as they activated. "Damned extranet. I thought with all the improvements around here, the net might have been a priority, but alas."_

 _The door opened with hydraulic whirring, exposing them to the bright sun. Catherine stepped out first, watching her footing on the loose, golden soil. Arisa, on the other hand, seemed to fly out, leaping onto the ground and crouching as she landed. At some point, she had heard it was better to land that way in a fall._

 _Leaving the all-terrain vehicle behind them, the two girls trekked along the path at the side of the mountain. It became thinner as they progressed, and with this view, most people might have been nervous. From here, you could see it all – in the distance, the megastructures of Attus adorned the horizon, while just between it and the mountain, stray settlements freckled the landscape._

 _From the settlement of Houlonne, the smoke around the bend was visible. Although she was freshly on shore leave, Catherine was quick to volunteer her time. If it was, indeed, a crashed probe, her experience with coding might aid the gathering of any encrypted information; additionally, some quality time with an old friend was definitely a bonus._

 _Arisa was here not as a volunteer, but as a worker. Her and Catherine went way back, but when Catherine had gone off to the academy, Arisa stayed home to study engineering. She hoped to salvage the pricey piece of equipment, or at the very least, whatever parts she could manage._

 _Catherine watched her feet as she moved against the mountain, cautious of the steep drop she would descend with a single misplaced step. Just around the bend, she reminded herself. "Careful. I'm in full gear – if I fall, I might sustain some light injury. If you fall, it could be ugly."_

" _Note taken, but I'm fine. I'm glad you came along, though, even if it doesn't really make any sense that you did."_

" _What do you mean?"_

 _With a puff, Catherine blew a curly lock of her hair out of her face. She'd been a little lax on the uniform regulations in the past two days, but her armor was new and she felt like showing it off enough to forego wearing civvies._

" _You just got home. I figured you'd want to spend some time with your folks, but you're still in action."_

" _You call this action?" Catherine laughed, then slipped on a rock. She caught her breath quickly, placing one hand on her chest. "Besides, it gives us a change to hang out. Plus, I'd kind of like to see you at work. Arisa Liu: the engineer! Malcolm spoke highly of your talents, you know."_

" _Please. Malcolm is hardly a connoisseur of intelligence."_

 _Around the bend, the rumors proved true – deeply seeded into a self-made crater, a huge probe creaked and groaned in the wind. Here and there, amid the smoke, a spark of electricity scattered over exposed circuit boards._

" _What have we here?" Arisa mused with a purr, enclosing on the contraption. "Alright, little fella, let's find out what clipped your wings."_

 _Catherine maintained a respectful distance, watching her friend study the damages. "Just remember to grab the drives so I can take a look at them. Might tell us something."_

 _Within seconds, Arisa tossed her a small chip, which Catherine tucked into a scanner on her Omni-tool._

" _Wow, they really went all out with this one," the soldier whispered, analyzing the codes. "Must have been an extranet relay."_

" _Net relay and surveillance," Arisa confirmed, ripping a busted sheet of metal from the side and mumbling something about garbage to herself. "Makes sense that they wouldn't want any of that information getting out. I don't know about you, but I'm not down to let some Batarian terrorist know what kind of porn I watch… or, you know, the locations of our mines, if they've got serious priorities."_

 _For several minutes, the girls went to work on the probe. Curiously enough, it did not appear to have sustained damage before its impact – no, it seemed as though it had been remotely accessed by someone else, but there were no fingerprints to follow on that lead. They had only speculations and theories to guide them until finally, Catherine stumbled across the system's notes._

" _Strange," she said to herself._

" _What is it?"_

" _It says a ship entered the system undetected, and that its scanners could not confirm the origin. While it attempted to analyze the ship, it was cut off. After that, there's nothing."_

" _Pirates?" Arisa asked._

" _I'm not sure, but if the system has been invaded, we'll need to get back as soon as we can. We can't make a call from out here."_

 _Downloading the data, Catherine heaved herself off of the ground._

" _Let's get to Attus so that we can check in with P.D.," she suggested, making her way back around the bend. "They'll be able to reach the militia. Let's hope your theory is right – we're equipped for Batarians, but I can't say the same of the Geth."_

" _Those days are behind us!" Arisa followed. "The Alliance was able to put down whatever had caused the attack on Eden Prime. The Geth have no reason to attack."_

 _Catherine scoffed in the way someone with vastly superior knowledge might. Sure, the Council believed that the Geth had followed Saren's leadership, but anyone with any level of critical thinking could tell something deeper had occurred._

 _They boarded the all-terrain once again, then descended the mountain with such speed that for a moment, not a single wheel made contact with the ground. THUD, BANG, THUD – it was graceless, but that was what these machines were built to withstand._

" _You drive like Mad Max!" Arisa exclaimed, clinging onto the Oh Shit Handle for her life._

" _Who?!" Catherine asked, though in context, she understood the bare minimum – she was fast, reckless, and perhaps one with the vehicle as it flew past Houlonne._

" _It's an old film, been remade a few times—shit!"_

 _They made air once more. This time, Catherine howled like a madwoman. Had she known that it was to be the last time in a long time, she might have embraced the sensation of her laughter._

 _Attus drew near at an alarming pace, first with small buildings and then with great monstrous creations that towered over them like metal titans. Much of the traffic was overhead, flying about in their stylish hover-cars and shuttles, but the all-terrain's speed had greatly reduced as the number of pedestrians increased. Catherine huffed and groaned, cursing at a woman as she stopped to halfway through the intersection look at the car._

" _What, you've never seen a fucking Mako before?!" she shouted, slamming on the horn. "Look at how she's dressed – fuck's sake, I can't stand inner-city fashion. You'd think the distance from Earth would mean they wouldn't follow all the New York trends, but evidently that's wishful thinking. The fuck are those?"_

 _She gestured at the woman's shoes, then slammed on the horn once again for good measure._

" _Maybe we should park and go by foot?" Arisa contemplated. "There's a garage just around the corner."_

" _Fuck that," Catherine growled, stopping the car in the middle of the road. She opened the doors, leaping out and nearly falling onto an onlooking citizen. She ignored his exclamations. "We might not have time to play games."_

" _You could get a ticket," Arisa groaned, nonetheless following her friend. "I mean, it isn't your car, but you can't just park in the middle of the road."_

" _Who knows? They might thank me for doing it if it stops an invasion."_

 _Catherine closed the door behind them, locking it up and heading further down the street, leaving a gaggle of walkers to stare at the car with wonder._

 _Dry thunder erupted from overhead. In front of them, the Alliance Embassy building seemed to pierce the clouds. Catherine wondered what it would be like to work in an office on that top floor, especially on a day like this, where the air was dry and hot and the sky fired electric shots of protest._

" _Planetary Defense should be in the Embassy building, but I'm not sure about the floor…"_

 _Arisa looked up, stopping in her tracks. For a second, it was eerily silent and still. Catherine noticed her friend's absence, then looked over her shoulder._

" _Arisa—"_

 _The sky ripped open with the sound of a thousand thunderstorms, shaking the ground around them with a low, train-like rumble. If anyone screamed, it was inaudible, but Catherine was certain no one had – they were each too busy staring at the beast that had now stopped just above the Embassy, like a ship oozing with infected wounds._

" _What is that…?" she whispered, sound barely travelling beyond her body. It was stammeringly terrible. Her hand reached for Arisa's wrist, swiping at nothing until she grasped onto her skin. Arisa said nothing._

 _The ship was covered in tiny holes, like the combs of a hive. Little ships began seeping out, with even smaller dots flying from the confines like hornets._

" _A-Arisa," Catherine coughed, then cleared her throat. Her friend was in shock. "Arisa, get back to the car."_

 _Arisa's mouth gaped as though her eyes were watching God._

* * *

 **NOTE.**

 **Hey, everyone! It's been a while since I've updated. I am certainly not reluctant to write the story, but I've been struggling with time management since I started my new job, and I've got a lot to balance between my hobbies and my responsibilities. I actually had to write this during several different lunch breaks, as my job revolves around confidential information and I cannot bring anything from work home. I'm not dead, though! Much love to those who are bearing with me.**


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